My One Night Stand

Earlier this week, I did something truly despicable for a boy raised in Illinois with Midwest values.

I cheered for Michigan St.

I cheered for the Michigan St. team that beat Illinois twice this season. I cheered for the Michigan St. program that has prevented Illinois from winning Big Ten titles. I cheered for the team that I blame for not knocking out Carolina in the 2005 Final Four, letting them walk into the championship game against an Illinois team with a limited inside presence. I cheered for Mateen Cleave's alma mater.

Yeah, awful, I know.

Now, my justification for that is this: am I really going to support a North Carolina program that robbed me of a national title in 2005? Am I really going to forgive Sean May and Raymond Felton? Can I scrub the image of Rashad McCants shirtless flaunting his Carolina jersey? There are only so many ways you can say "no."

So, I had a one night stand with the Spartans. Just like the real thing, a one night stand in sports is a no questions asked night of unruly deeds and conflicting alliances: you normally go after girls with substance and personality, but tonight you're settling for the blond having a conversation with the pepper shaker at a bar. You do unspeakable things with her, things that you'll never tell anyone or even share in a Real World confessional. Yeah, it's that bad.

But this isn't the first time for me, and I'm sure it's not the first time for you. Remember the 2005 Rose Bowl? Texas vs. USC? Who in their right mind cheers for a team that ESPN dubs one of the greatest before they win that year's title? So, I threw up the horns for the night. USC deserved what it had coming. Take that Reggie Bush and your 42-inch vertical.

So, does this mean I cheated on Illinois? Yes and no. Yes, I cheered for Michigan St. But Illinois left me by giving Western Kentucky too many open looks at the three. Illinois left me, and as a single man sitting at the bar, I chose the Spartan girl over the overly-glamorous, often times mean Carolina girl. I made my choice.

I had my one night stand.

[I never expect anyone from the state of North Carolina to forgive me for this, and/or date me. Then again, maybe she will if she's a Duke fan. But that's a whole different problem.]