More Marmol-ade Please

Back in the cradle of elementary school, the DARE program taught us that one of the best ways to say no was to "act like a broken record," just repeating "no" until the older kids on the playground became annoyed and walked away or just forced the cigarette in your mouth anyway.

Enter my broken record: welcome to our neverending discussion of the bullpen. Side effects may include walking away annoyed and/or forcing cigarettes in this writer's mouth.

Alright, pull on your hard hats and take that all-too-necessary deep breath: the bullpen gave it their best shot. They tried and tried and tried, but they just couldn't give this game away. Do you remember the scene in Bull Durham where Crash tells the batter what pitch Nuke is going to throw as a way of punishing Nuke? I'm convinced the bullpen is trying to punish us.

Angel Guzman lost his touch. Neal Cotts was Neal Cotts, circa 2009. Aaron Heilman apparently thought he was still a Met pitching in September [In Heilman's defense, he only allowed inherited baserunners to score. Then again, how will that same excuse sound in October when our offense has gone dormant and Lou is having a coronary?]. Yeah, Zambrano didn't have his best stuff, struggling through six innings [and a whopping 118 pitches] while giving up three runs, but he didn't deserve to watch his game get squandered like this.

Thankfully, in rode Alfonso Soriano to a swell of trumpets and fanfare.

[Side note: that sentence ranks right up there with looking for footage of Game 4 of the 1929 World Series as things I didn't expect to say or do in 2009]

Soriano provided the late inning heroics, sending the first pitch he saw into orbit, with the expected landing in Lake Michigan coming any day now. Soriano bailed everyone out. Again.

Earlier in the game, Soriano beat out a grounder on what would have been an inning-ending double play, allowing Little Mike Fontenot to score. The run tied the game 3-3, and while the Cubs sent the Brewers an early Easter gift in the form of two runs a few minutes later, both of Soriano's plays were pivotal.

But don't count your bratwursts before they run.

Carlos Marmol was spectacular in the closer's role, giving us a break from Kevin Gregg and Kevin Gregg a break from Kevin Gregg. The kid did surrender a hit, but he didn't issue any free passes. He didn't allow any runs. He walked off the mound with the lead. He saved Easter. Who knows, maybe he even cured cancer.

Aside from Soriano and Marmol, also joining the parade was Kosuke Fukudome with a 2-for-5 night that included two RBIs, Ryan Theriot and his 2-for-4 performance that didn't include an error, and Koyie Hill who finished with one hit and a whole lot of lost patience. Without the contributions of these fine individuals, none of this would have been possible.

Unfortunately, due to these hard times, my first bypass surgery has been rescheduled for my 35th birthday. Have I mentioned that I miss Kid K?